Awful boarding school environment

I was just reading my newspaper about the accident some years back when a dragon boat with 13 students from Lundby Efterskole capsized and a teacher downed. They sailed in icy waters and the boat was not suited to the weather.

Right now a trial against the school in ongoing and that is why I don't make a statement whether they should be found guilty or not. The management of the school is doing a blaming-job where they put all the responsibility on the deceased school teacher. It was not his boat. It was a boat belonging to the school. The principal in charge saw them leaving with the boat and didn't interfere, but as I stated before; It is up to the court to decide whether the management are to blame.

But I want to state something being a parent to a child living in a boarding school. If you look back on previous posts on this blog you will find that I had to send my son to a boarding school. It was not a choice I made. I was so to say forced due to the actions of my son. I don't know whether it was intended as a punishment or a chance to start over but it became a punishment.

To this very day it has marked his life. He grew apart from the rest of the family and lives a rather isolated life minding his own business. He had good grades but did choose to serve in a low paid job. I guess that I as a parent should be happy that he has an ordinary job and is not involved in crime, but as a parent you always dream that your child does it a little better. What was wrong about the boarding school was that they at all occasions tried to push the kids of their comfort zone. They tried to make the kids something they weren't born to according their social heritage.

What I like about Denmark is the security. When you are born into a working class family like I was you can make it only so far. In Denmark you don't break the social heritage on just one generation. You work quietly serving faithfully in your job so your children can start on a higher level but not that high compared to your situation.

This approach creates a society where everyone is calm because they know that if they mind their own business their children are rewarded. Only if you come to Denmark trying to work yourself to the top, you will get into trouble. We can read about it every day. It ends with crime being committed. At the boarding school they were punished if they didn't want to participate in extracurricular activities. Yes, you read it correctly. It was not the school work which could result in punishment. It was not the behavior in general which could result in punishment. It was possible dangerous activities like wilderness hiking and canoeing. My son had not been on the water for just one single day before he got to the school and swimming was about 50 meters. We live in a town far from the water, so why bother?

Basically the boarding school broke him down leaving him as a shadow of his former self. While I am happy that he has a regular job, I wanted him to do something like the work I do and make it just a little further than I did. It is not possible and I guess that a relationship is out of the question.

Sometime I think that we should have the police jail him. It would properly have damaged him less and still taught him a lesson. Instead we led a paramilitary unit educate him for almost a year. I failed my son back then and he is paying the price for the rest of his life. I feel like a bad parent.