Awful boarding school environment

I was just reading my newspaper about the accident some years back when a dragon boat with 13 students from Lundby Efterskole capsized and a teacher downed. They sailed in icy waters and the boat was not suited to the weather.

Right now a trial against the school in ongoing and that is why I don't make a statement whether they should be found guilty or not. The management of the school is doing a blaming-job where they put all the responsibility on the deceased school teacher. It was not his boat. It was a boat belonging to the school. The principal in charge saw them leaving with the boat and didn't interfere, but as I stated before; It is up to the court to decide whether the management are to blame.

But I want to state something being a parent to a child living in a boarding school. If you look back on previous posts on this blog you will find that I had to send my son to a boarding school. It was not a choice I made. I was so to say forced due to the actions of my son. I don't know whether it was intended as a punishment or a chance to start over but it became a punishment.

To this very day it has marked his life. He grew apart from the rest of the family and lives a rather isolated life minding his own business. He had good grades but did choose to serve in a low paid job. I guess that I as a parent should be happy that he has an ordinary job and is not involved in crime, but as a parent you always dream that your child does it a little better. What was wrong about the boarding school was that they at all occasions tried to push the kids of their comfort zone. They tried to make the kids something they weren't born to according their social heritage.

What I like about Denmark is the security. When you are born into a working class family like I was you can make it only so far. In Denmark you don't break the social heritage on just one generation. You work quietly serving faithfully in your job so your children can start on a higher level but not that high compared to your situation.

This approach creates a society where everyone is calm because they know that if they mind their own business their children are rewarded. Only if you come to Denmark trying to work yourself to the top, you will get into trouble. We can read about it every day. It ends with crime being committed. At the boarding school they were punished if they didn't want to participate in extracurricular activities. Yes, you read it correctly. It was not the school work which could result in punishment. It was not the behavior in general which could result in punishment. It was possible dangerous activities like wilderness hiking and canoeing. My son had not been on the water for just one single day before he got to the school and swimming was about 50 meters. We live in a town far from the water, so why bother?

Basically the boarding school broke him down leaving him as a shadow of his former self. While I am happy that he has a regular job, I wanted him to do something like the work I do and make it just a little further than I did. It is not possible and I guess that a relationship is out of the question.

Sometime I think that we should have the police jail him. It would properly have damaged him less and still taught him a lesson. Instead we led a paramilitary unit educate him for almost a year. I failed my son back then and he is paying the price for the rest of his life. I feel like a bad parent.

Pain

I am tormented by pain.

My teeth are hurting and that is bad.

Denmark is a welfare country. At least the politicians claim that our country still maintain that status regardless the fact that the early retirement, which was the foundation in our system have been targeted for several serious cuts.

In a welfare society vital treatment are offered for free. Regardless what kind of illness I could be having - even problems with the heart are cured for free.

But the teeth are seen as purely cosmetic treatment, so that why so many Danes like me have to suffer in silence.

You can always decide whether a Dane is rich or poor by looking at his or her teeth. In some case you can smell it. People who for one reason go bankrupt can only get help to the dentist from the authorities if they are able to prove that they have been paying customers for at least 10 years before their mishap occurred.

Danish dentists are also among the most expensive in Europe. People who have been able to bring a translator abroad to assist them explaining the problem to the foreign dentist can save up to 50 percent.

Unfortunately I don't have this option. Sweden would have been the natural choice, no sub-standard like in the Eastern Europe, where they are recovering from 50 years of communist rule. Sweden has the same standard as here in Denmark. However there is a problem. Even Swedish people are hard to understand and until recently the Danish language was forbidden.

So risking getting the wrong tooth treated is not worth it.

So like more than a million Danes I have to suffer in quietness.

It hurts a lot. Two old filling made by the an old over-the-hill school dentist who everyone knew on held that position due to his connections to the city hall are to be replaced.

A root-channel job on the right side did not turn out as my dentist anticipated. A gold crown broke off in the left side. So my pain comes from all over my mouth. I can only eat and drink very little.

That how it is for a poor Dane.

But if you ask me if it is worth having the pain just to remain in Denmark, I have to answer yes.

We have so many other things to be happy off.

My children can drink alcohol in public once they have been confirmed and they can buy it on their own, once they turn 16. If they stay together with other youth doing the same, they are not like all too many people on this planet in risk of being blown up by a suicide bomber.

My children don’t have to care about grades. There is no pressure on them if they choose to underachieve. They belong to the working class like me. We have given up battling the social heritage. The result has been a peaceful society where the lack of competition results in lesser crime and more peace.

Is that not worth if the price is severe pain every single day?

Yes: At any time!