The trip

Our daughter was supposed to stay 3 weeks in United Kingdom as a part of a language course. She has been talking about this trip for almost a year. She had no doubt in her mind. If anyone had, it was we parents.

We have taught our children to be Danes. Regardless of our background as foreigners, we have always felt that it was our duty to educate our children as Danes. We have proof that our children have been successful. They have attended numerous bag-parties and are very well socialized.

But one thing is to live and be successful in Denmark another is to attempt a transmission of these skills into another and I have to state not so developed culture.

So as any other parent to well-adjusted youths in a time where patriotism is the very answer to the survival of a small nation in the European elite project called the European Union, we had reasonable doubt about how our daughter would deal with her first trip alone outside Denmark and we decided to plan an “Exit plan”.

She went. Well arrived she faced the first obstacle – the students on the school had to wear uniform. It was only a T-shirt, but wearing uniform is a sign of failure in Denmark. Uniforms are reserved for people in low-paid jobs, who ended up in a McJob career taking a path nowhere.

She cried when she phoned home. It was clear that she was broken, but we urged her to give the stay a second chance and try to socialize with some of the other students. But then she met a second and insurmountable obstacle. The normal way for a young Dane to socialize with other youth – over a couple of beers – was not allowed. Faced with weeks of isolation, we talked with her and decided to make use of the “Exit Plan”. We pulled her according to the advice experts have given for stays by Danish youth in foreign countries.

She has now returned to Denmark and we love to have her home. She seems by all aspect unharmed, which we contribute to the fact that we pulled her before the 14-days limit.

However, the trip was not a waste.

First it made her value her home, her parents more. It brought us closer as a family.

Second but not least it removed any doubt in her mind about her identity as a Dane. Some claims that it take generations to be fully adjusted into the Danish society and I have to agree that some foreigners like me are not prepared to sacrifice the traditions from their origins, which is a absolute must if you truly wants to be called a Dane.

Our daughter became a integrated Dane. She learned to value her dearest and all it took was a little stay in another country.

Do not state that nothing can be learned abroad.

Cheated of early retirement

I thought that I had planned my life, but now I am facing an uncertain future.

Back in the 1970 the present prime minister Anker Joergensen finished 80 years of hard work establishing the Danish welfare society by introducing early retirement for people, who have been worn down by hard labor.

So the cleaning lady or worker in factory could retire early when they became 60 years of age.

It is often claimed the introducing of early retirement both finished the welfare society in Denmark and is the compoment that keeps it together. Without early retirement there would not be basis for Denmark being called a nation with a welfare society.

I have planned my life as a hard worker on retirement at that age.

But lately the last two governments in office have found out that the cost of conducting our war in Afghanistan (Our 11th. crusade some knows as the war against terrorism) and our effort of fulfilling the Official Development Assistance have proven to be so costly.

They have to find the money somewhere and because the term of describing retired people in Denmark is "the burden of the elderly" the early retirement was targeted.

Now I like most of the people of my age would be punished if we retire before the age of 62. Hard working like it is expected of people with my background from a working class family without the possibility of a higher education, my health is already failing and I am not even 50.

Two years may seem like a little time for most, but for people with a history in the family of hearth diseases and cancer, it is forever.

My life has fallen apart. Now I live from one day to another without the ability to plan ahead. I have lost all faith in an retirement at some point.

And I am not the only one. Our nation are also under pressure. Stories about diapers being turned and used twice for number 1 in retirement homes are not uncommon. Our society is under pressure and I am thinking of finding another place to live my final years.

It is just hard.

Why it is hard to adjust being an immigrant

I moved to this country, now best known for their cartoons 10 years ago.

I learned their language. I allowed my family to adjust to their strange costums.

Now I feel beaten somehow.

First example:

I have a lot of kids - alot. It have never been a problem before, but suddenly new seatbeltsrules came into action. The government demanded that every child in the car should have their own seat belt.

I need three cars to transport my children!

I know that ethnic Danes only have about 2 children. I regards this new law as a racist invention to target the mobility of us immigrants.

Second example:

I choosed Denmark because of their high standard of education. First of all danish students have a team spirit like I have never seen anywhere before and I have travelled the world.

They use a term called "hygge" where they sit together and drink a few beer - even children down to 12-13 year of age as I have seen them sitting in parks and along beaches. In fact it is an old tradition for the parents to introduce their child to alcohol at an age of 14 when the child is confirmed. (With Gods approval so to say).

So the youth drink and socialize. They start to care for each other. In a drunken state they confide to each other, so when they put a team together they know what both the strength and weakness are for each team-member, but the boss also know what the employees think about him and it doesn't need to be positive. Even a negative view can be useful because then there are not time wasted on cover-ups and lies.

So I allowed my son to socialize with the Danish youth and he showed good results. So good in fact that I gave up a job offer in the States, because they couldn't offer schools with similar standard.

The the disaster happened. My son "borrowed" my car and the social worker decided (due to my status as a foreigner) that my son should attend a school in the other end of the country. (Denmark have very few juvenile facilities. The authorities use the so-called "continuation school" for punishment instead of jail and it works because Danes regards everyone being born more than 20 kilometers away as "strangers", which all the community should be looking for. Some of the parents of my colleagues have moved to another part of Denmark and even their children are regarded as strangers (It is for some reason worse if you move from East to West. Sealand is called the "Devil Island" by people in Jutland.)

So my son ended up in Jutland and he suffered, but as I told him "Do the crime, do the time". I don't know if 10 months away from home for driving without licence is a harsh punishment in other countries, but all I would have gotten as adult was a fine.

All that brought our familiy closer together. He is very lonely because our lawyer recommended that he sould avoid as much contact as possible because in criminal enviroment they exchange knowledge, which can result in a life of crime. Now a new problem has arised. He is a smoker and it is legal because Denmark have a 16 year limit on tobacco purchase.

But the government are thinking of changing this to 18 years and the school don't want to have tobacco on their property, he is suffering. We have been meeting with the authorities about a pardon, so he can return home where we can buy him tobacco and our hopes are up. But somehow I feel betrayed.

Legal access to alcohol and tobacco for my kids was something I moved to Denmark for. They had so much success with this approach.

In fact in Denmark it is normal that the kids committing crimes are the kids, who don't drink.

I thought that I had found a free country. Now I am in doubt.