Why it is hard to adjust being an immigrant

I moved to this country, now best known for their cartoons 10 years ago.

I learned their language. I allowed my family to adjust to their strange costums.

Now I feel beaten somehow.

First example:

I have a lot of kids - alot. It have never been a problem before, but suddenly new seatbeltsrules came into action. The government demanded that every child in the car should have their own seat belt.

I need three cars to transport my children!

I know that ethnic Danes only have about 2 children. I regards this new law as a racist invention to target the mobility of us immigrants.

Second example:

I choosed Denmark because of their high standard of education. First of all danish students have a team spirit like I have never seen anywhere before and I have travelled the world.

They use a term called "hygge" where they sit together and drink a few beer - even children down to 12-13 year of age as I have seen them sitting in parks and along beaches. In fact it is an old tradition for the parents to introduce their child to alcohol at an age of 14 when the child is confirmed. (With Gods approval so to say).

So the youth drink and socialize. They start to care for each other. In a drunken state they confide to each other, so when they put a team together they know what both the strength and weakness are for each team-member, but the boss also know what the employees think about him and it doesn't need to be positive. Even a negative view can be useful because then there are not time wasted on cover-ups and lies.

So I allowed my son to socialize with the Danish youth and he showed good results. So good in fact that I gave up a job offer in the States, because they couldn't offer schools with similar standard.

The the disaster happened. My son "borrowed" my car and the social worker decided (due to my status as a foreigner) that my son should attend a school in the other end of the country. (Denmark have very few juvenile facilities. The authorities use the so-called "continuation school" for punishment instead of jail and it works because Danes regards everyone being born more than 20 kilometers away as "strangers", which all the community should be looking for. Some of the parents of my colleagues have moved to another part of Denmark and even their children are regarded as strangers (It is for some reason worse if you move from East to West. Sealand is called the "Devil Island" by people in Jutland.)

So my son ended up in Jutland and he suffered, but as I told him "Do the crime, do the time". I don't know if 10 months away from home for driving without licence is a harsh punishment in other countries, but all I would have gotten as adult was a fine.

All that brought our familiy closer together. He is very lonely because our lawyer recommended that he sould avoid as much contact as possible because in criminal enviroment they exchange knowledge, which can result in a life of crime. Now a new problem has arised. He is a smoker and it is legal because Denmark have a 16 year limit on tobacco purchase.

But the government are thinking of changing this to 18 years and the school don't want to have tobacco on their property, he is suffering. We have been meeting with the authorities about a pardon, so he can return home where we can buy him tobacco and our hopes are up. But somehow I feel betrayed.

Legal access to alcohol and tobacco for my kids was something I moved to Denmark for. They had so much success with this approach.

In fact in Denmark it is normal that the kids committing crimes are the kids, who don't drink.

I thought that I had found a free country. Now I am in doubt.